Monthly Archives: February 2017

ABC TV’S “ICE WARS”

the_princess_and_the_ice_monster_by_mongorap-d5g0owj“The Princess and the Ice Monster”

Image by Hachiimon @ Deviant Art

Read the public discussion of ABCTV’s 4 part series “ICE WARS!!!” here

nancy_just_say_no

Or, for a much more edifying, fond and generative depiction of ice use among

Australia’s Most Stigmatised

watch this

just-do-it

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Filed under Affect, Devices and technology, Drug dogs, Engagement with medicine, PNP culture, Police, Policy and programs, Random thoughts, Self-medication

TRUMBLE DOWN UNDER

*SEVERE WEATHER WARNING*

REPORT:

Dangerous weather is expected across Australia over the coming weeks and months.

The synoptic chart reveals a high pressure system stretching right across the nation, which is likely to be exacerbated by the massive cold front now bearing down from the North, which first consolidated over the Russian continent, before spreading east to cause chaos in China, intensifying the currents already chilling much of the South/East Asian region.

Experts agree the collision of these weather systems is likely to produce even more extreme conditions in the region, with a heightened risk of flash floods, droughts,  severe heat,  bushfires, water shortages, white supremacism,  smog, border policing,gendered violence, violent nationalism, cruel seas, pollution and even tornadoes in some parts of the country.

trumble

The Turnbull government has kept itself busy reassuring citizens not to be alarmed.   “Keeping calm is the only decent thing to do, if you want to be consistent with Australian values” a number of senior ministers repeated. The LNP Cabinet announced it would be splendid if everyone would quit their carping, isolate themselves from corrupting influences, get on with preserving our way of life, and do whatever it takes to make themselves feel relaxed and comfortable like normal citizens.

Emergency services throughout Oz are remaining on high alert however. “We are simply not prepared for some of the radical weather events anticipated,” one national security adviser revealed. “Tornadoes are a source of particular concern: they have been known to jettison whole families from remote communities dependent on rural subsistence and religious fundamentalism, only to dump them right in the middle of Emerald City without any of the usual extreme vetting procedures ”

“This is no time for complacency or polite diplomacy ” insisted a volunteer aid-worker who has been tracking changes in the Australian atmosphere and global political climate  since Pauline Hanson’s maiden speech to parliament over two decades ago.  “If the Turnbull government thinks this will all be plain-sailing and can’t grasp the fact that we are facing an emergency of global proportions involving the potential for large-scale atrocity, all I can say is, tell him he’s dreaming!”

Meanwhile, satellite pictures have revealed an unusual, disturbing but undeniably breathtaking promontory that appears to be thrusting its way out of Australia’s subcontinental bedrock. The structure has assumed the form of an enormous cock–up  just right of the centre of our nation’s heartland. Experts attribute this remarkable protuberance to the weather conditions prevailing of late in the Canberra region, where hot blustery winds have exacerbated the capital’s suffocating climate, rather than dispelling it, as some had hoped.  These oppressive conditions are expected to endure unless something extraordinary happens, and are set to expand beyond the capital to engulf entire regions well beyond Australia’s territorial waters.

Some are impressed by the sheer magnitude of this unprecedented national swelling, while others evidently find it stifling and repulsive.  But most ordinary Australians are indifferent to what has come to be known affectionately in some circles as Trumble Tower, citing it as another reason to stay indoors, since the very idea of kicking up a fuss,  carrying a placard,  collective organising and principled action is likely to upset the horses and besides, it all just seems like too much effort, eh?

The most alarming thing about Trumble Tower – the edifice at the centre of these climactic developments – is that the dickheads who saw it coming and likely approved of its development tend to be among the first to ignore its magnitude or dismiss its significance. Many are simply refusing to acknowledge its existence, while others regard it as an act of god, a scientific conspiracy, a natural wonder, a false idol, or a divine sign  about moral turpitude. (When uttered by informants, these conflicting explanations tend not to be mutually exclusive). Meanwhile,  Australia’s Deputy PM Barnaby Joyce is blaming China for everything.

In a doorstep statement delivered outside his exclusive Eastern Suburbs Sydney residence, the Prime Minister explained that it is sometimes hard to see past the army of lawn sprinklers on Parliament Hill to work out what is going on in the world, let alone figure out how best to respond to it.  Those sturdy old sprinklers work very hard, day and night, seven days a week, Turnbull reminded us, to make the Seat of National Government look fancy and trim as a high-end Country Club. A worthwhile cause, and nothing to sniff at, he insisted.

Sources close to Turnbull confirm he isn’t at all worried by current developments; certainly they aren’t the sort of thing that is likely to keep him up at night.  If the deal with Trump falls through, he will start working on that old softie Angela Merkel to find somewhere to dump his asylum-seeking desperadoes.

When pressed about the escalating conflict and growing tensions at home, Turnbull kept his calm.  “I have an Anglo passport. Unlike those poor suckers on Manus Island and Nauru, I can travel wherever I want, whenever I want, providing I make a brief stopover in Panama”. Ultimately, Turnbull said he felt relaxed as ever about the state of current affairs in the world.  “I’m feeling quite comfortable, to be honest,” he smiled, “After all, Parliament House has air conditioning”.

JUANITA: {gulps}  “Thanks for that, Malcolm …

……..That’s all we have time for tonight”

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